The Power of Self-Nurturing

Years ago, when I moved to Mexico City to attend winter quarter at the University of the Americas, I discovered the power of Self-Nurturing. Soon after I moved to this beautiful city, with its ancient history and architecture, sunny weather, and rich customs, I began to notice how happy people seemed, regardless of their circumstances or economic status. I also felt more relaxed and peaceful.

What I noticed was that people were not in a rush, and they didn’t have a mile-long to-do list. Over time, I slowed down and began to live the lifestyle of the natives. I felt so happy deep down in my soul that I decided to stay in Mexico rather than return to the University of Washington. I married a man from Mexico City and stayed for nine years, until we transferred back to the U.S. for a job with my husband’s international advertising firm.

During that time, I learned the wonderful Art of Self-care. For example, Turkish baths with massages were common- place, two-hour daily lunches with a short “siesta” refreshed my body, mind and spirit before moving ahead for the rest of the day and evening. This two-hour meal also brought family and close friends together daily, creating strong families, bonding and support. Another thing I loved about this culture was that people valued me for who I was, not for what I owned or accomplished.

A few years later, I was fortunate to move to Madrid, Spain with my husband for a job transfer and lived there for five years. I continued to cultivate my own self care, which influenced my life work of wanting to help others and contribute to a better world.

What is Self-Nurturing? It is really just taking the time to care deeply for yourself, to value relaxation and pleasure as much as accomplishment, and people as much as achievement. Practicing self care is also to recognize that taking care of yourself is the best way to bring your best self to the world.
Self-Nurturing dramatically upgrades your life because:
• It helps you fill up your own well so you’re not running on empty all the time. You have more energy, feel better and can accomplish more.
• It improves your relationships. You can’t really take good care of others, or be there for others if you’re not there for yourself first. I like to use the metaphor of the oxygen masks on airplanes. The steward/stewardess always tells you to put your own mask on first and then help those around you. And, this is the essence of self-nurturing.
• Ultimately, self-nurturing helps you to know yourself, to see your own inner light, to see what is best in you in order to shine that light into the world and help others to see their own inner light. In this way, you can create healthier people and a healthier planet. Self nurturing is asking yourself, “How do I feel? What do I need? Do I need to ask others for help? Can I meet my needs myself? Do I need some ‘quiet time’ to think things over?” Ultimately, it is believing, “ I’m worth it!”

Self-Nurturing Secrets

Self-Nurturing Secret #1: Take quiet time for your self each day. Breathe, relax your mind, connect with your soul. Ask yourself, “What is one thing I can do to take better care of myself? Listen for the answer. Follow your inner guidance. (Morning is a good time for this.)
Note: Download my article on Setting Up Your Quiet Space

Self Nurturing Secret #2: Take a mini-vacation: Take a few hours to a half-day to do nothing…read, light a fire, lay in a hammock or on the sofa, or crawl into bed, drink tea, dream—or just stare out of the window…and do not feel one bit guilty . . . Note: I personally find this incredibly rejuvenating.

You can also just close your eyes and mentally see yourself in a beautiful place, relaxing. Notice the surroundings, sounds and smells of this beautiful place. See yourself enjoying the beauty and serenity. You can do this anytime, without traveling anywhere.

Self Nurturing Secret #3: Make positive self-talk a habit. Use affirmations and cheerleading statements to yourself often throughout the day. If you look at yourself in the mirror and smile while saying them, it is even more uplifting and supportive.

Self-Nurturing Secret #4: Heal your inner child. Nurture your child within. Get a picture of him/her in your mind, (or a photo) then talk to her, write her a letter, read to her, play with her, ask her what she needs and/or wants. Listen to her/him. Forgive her/him. See her/his preciousness.

Self Nurturing Secret #5: Make sure to take time for Fun each day! Whatever brings you joy, do that.
It’s a gift to yourself when you choose to take time to meet your needs! See the list below for some ideas to get into the habit of nurturing yourself:

Ideas for Self-Nurturing Activities

Circle FUN ones! and do at least one of these things daily

1.) Go for a walk
2.) Share a hug with a loved one
3.) Relax outside
4.) Practice feeling contented
5.) Physical activity (of my choice)
6.) Pray
7.) Attend a caring support group
8.) Practice deep, slow breathing
9.) Cook a nice meal
10.) Do stretching exercises
11.) Reflect on my positive qualities
12.) Watch the sunrise/sunset
13.) Laugh
14.) Visualize a relaxing scene
15.) Receive a massage
16.) Reflect on what you’re grateful for
17.) Write my thoughts and feeling in a personal journal
18.) Attend a favorite athletic event
19.) Do something adventurous!
20.) Read a special book or magazine
21.) Meditate
22.) Gardening
23.) Work out with weights
24.) Make myself a nutritious meal
25.) Draw/paint a picture
26.) Swim, float, wade, relax in a pool, or on the beach
27.) Do aerobics/dance
28.) Smile
29.) Slow down and Relax
30.) Imagine myself achieving my goals and dreams
31.) Enjoy a gourmet cup of herbal tea
32.) Participate in a favorite sport, game, recreation
33.) Practice the art of forgiveness
34.) Reflect on “my most enjoyable memories”
35.) Enjoy a relaxing nap
36.) Visit a museum/art gallery
37.) Practice yoga
38.) Relax in a whirlpool /sauna
40.) Enjoy a cool, refreshing glass of water or juice
41.) Enjoy the beauty of nature
42.) Count my blessings: “I am Thankful for…”
43.) Play as I did as a child
44.) Star gaze- stay up late, get up early!
45.) Window shop
46.) Daydream
47.) Tell myself the loving words I want to hear from others
48.) Attend a special workshop
49.) Go sailing/paddle boating
50.) Reward myself with a special gift I can afford
51.) Take myself on a vacation
52.) Create with clay/pottery
53.) Practice positive affirmations
54.) Pet an animal
55.) Watch my favorite TV show
56.) Reflect on my successes: “I CAN….”
57.) Make a bouquet of flowers
58.) Relax: watch the clouds
59.) Make myself something nice
60.) Visit a park/woods/forest
61.) Read positive, motivational literature
62.) Reflect on: “What I value most in life…”
63.) Phone a special friend
64.) Go on a picnic in a beautiful setting
65) Practice feeling awe for life
66) Treat myself to a nutritious meal at a favorite restaurant
67.) Participate in a hobby
68.) Discover a new place
69.) Hug a tree!
70.) “Meow” with a cat; “bark” with a dog, “chirp” with a bird !
71.) Create my own list of self – nurturing activities

Love Your Body, Love Yourself
Today, notice how you care for your body. Do you pace yourself, or push yourself relentlessly to accomplish your “to do” list? Notice when you’re feeling tired and rest. Put your feet up for a few minutes, breathe, freshen-up, clip and/or file your nails, use some nice body lotion. Your body will love it!

Books: on Self Nurturing:
Women’s Comfort Book, by Jennifer Louden, (1992), Harper-Collins, NY This book is terrific! It includes hundreds of practical suggestions on how to begin caring for yourself. It includes a thorough section on “self-care at a glance.”

Take Time for Your Life, Life Makeovers, Stand Up for Your Life, by Cheryl Richardson, (1999 – 2002), Broadway Books, New York, NY.